Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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