so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What drink are we having for lunch?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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