Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
