So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
