a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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