We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
