Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
