that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
