This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
