So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
