She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
