I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
