I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
