boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
