Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
