Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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