It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
