One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
