woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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