no, he came in my armpit
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
