I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
