so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
