theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just googled if crying burns calories
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
