If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
