Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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