I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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