I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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