also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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