Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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