I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
