Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
