Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
