So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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