He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
