I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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