You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
