She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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