The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
