I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
