remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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