Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
