i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize