I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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