All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
