Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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