The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
