Plan B is the new Plan A
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
