i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
