did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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