did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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