She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
