Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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