So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
